


I Could Pull The Steering Wheel, But You're The Judge

by Phanic_atTwenty1Pilots



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cute, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13354023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phanic_atTwenty1Pilots/pseuds/Phanic_atTwenty1Pilots
Summary: In this fic I'm writing about how Tyler has some mental-health problems and how Josh helps him get throught it





	I Could Pull The Steering Wheel, But You're The Judge

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this could be really bad and so but what ever. And btw, I do not have an English keyboard so yeah, expect spelling mistakes.  
> TW: SELF-HARM MENTIONS  
> Hope you like it :)

Tyler sat in the sofa, alone again. Josh had stayed over and played Mario Kart 64 and as always they had very fun. Joah left about ten minutes ago and Tyler could already feel the colnd nubness creeping in instead of having Josh's warmth near. He stood up and walked to the kithchen to make some toast, not that he was hungry, just to have something distracting him from the numbness. after he had made the toast he just stood there, waiting, but for what? He just stood there, staring at the newly made sandwich, just waiting to be eaten but Tyler did not feel like eating. Tyler snapped back to reality after realizing he had zoned out. walked to the bathroom and sat down on the cold tile floor. He just wanted to feel, was that really too much to ask for? Apparently it was because he was now sitting with the small, velvet case that used to be a place where he would keep poetry, but now it was home to two metallic razor blades. Tyler looked down at the razors and thought to himself that it wouldn't hurt to just add some more red lines to the already big collection on his arms and thights and as usual his inner voice said that he deserved feeling the pain, deserved all the nasty words thrown at him from his family. That they were right. 'You are nothing' 'Useless piece of shit' 'Stop being such a fucking wimp, faggot'  
Ever since he told his family that he was gay they had not just disliked him, they now hated him. His older brother Zack would beat Tyler up, just for the fun of it. He deserved it tyler thought to himself.  
He picked up one of the sharp pieces of metal and placed the sharp edge against the skin on his upper arm. It was littered with scars, some bigger than others, and some really ugly ones from not getting stitches because how would he be able to get stitches, he had no way of getting to the nearest hospital wich was about 30 minutes away by car, he didn't have a family that were willing to give him a ride there, and he certianly did not have any money to get a busride there either.  
The cold metal pressed against his skin and Tyler felt the pain, the pain he appreciated, not because it was a pleasant feeling, but because it made him feel something. The crimson coloured liquid trickled down his arm. The blade swung a couple times more, but now faster. He now had a big and quite deep wound with some, about eleven shallow, but still big wounds on his left upper arm. Droplets of blood fell from his arm down to the bathroom floor and made a silent noise as they hit it. Calm. Now Tyler was calm but the stinging on his arm reminded him that he needed to cleen up, or he would have an angry mom yelling at him and with his dad problably hitting him. He took a small black towel and held it under the running tap as it absorbed the water. Tyler squeezed it, making all the excess water fall onto the white porcelain leaving a damp towel in his hands. After cleaning up he put on a pair of boxers and got to bed. This routine was nothing new to Tyler.

\----------------------

Josh had just woken up when he got a text from Tyler reading;

*Hey, Do you wanna hang out after school today?*  
*Yeah sure! My place?*  
*That would be great!*  
*Ok see you at school Ty*  
*Yep*

After spending multiple hours at school, Josh had still not spotted Tyler, which worried him and he feared he had gotten beaten up again by some bully, he would often get shit for being gay. After an unsuccesfull quick-search of the school Josh gave up knowing he wouldn't find him. Tyler was such a person that either you had to hava an extra sense for knowing where Tyler were wich apparently all the bullies had, or you just had to wait for Tyler to get to you. When Josh was just about to leave he heard a familiar voice coming from the hallway. He looked around the corner and saw Jack, Tommy and some other guys kicking at Tyler while he was pleading for them to stop. Josh angerly stomped over to them, screaming at them.  
"Hey! What do you guys think you're doing?!"  
The bullies stopped and looked at Josh before sprinting away. It was always easy for Josh to fend off bullies at school being the poular kid he was.  
"Tyler, are you ok? They seemed to get you pretty hard." Josh said calmly while getting down to the now sitting boy. "You know that if you ever get in a situation like this again and have access to your phone, don't hesitate to call me, I will always come and help you."  
Tyler looked up at Josh.  
"No I'm fine thanks, but thanks for getting them away from me, aleast for now"  
Tyler always seemed so calm and collected, even after getting beat up, he was like the defenition of 'suck it up'.  
"Le me help you up atleast and let's go to my house, you can get a ride with me, I took the car today." Josh said whilst holding out his hand to the beaten boy in front of him which Tyler quickly took a grip on.

The car ride home was pretty silent, Tyler just sat there staring into the abyss, and be driving, couldn't really do anything except talk, and it seemed that Tyler was not in the mood for talking. The car stopped and the boys walked towards the entrance of Josh's house. Josh picked up his keys and after fumbling a bit he twisted the lock and they walked in. They walked straight up to to second floor, where Josh's room were. They sat in the bed there, just staring for minutes, until Tyler broke the silence in the room.  
"So, how was your day then?"  
Josh being a little bit shocked from the sudden sound said "Oh, yeah, good I think, until I found you getting beaten by Jack and his buddies. It's sad to see them beating you like that, you should really tell the teachers about it so you'll get help."  
"No, I think it's good, I can bear it" Tyler answered but he knew that he couldn't deal with that and his family for mmuch longer until it became too much.  
"But you should atleast tell you parents and they..." Josh said but was quickly interrupted by Tyler.  
"Umm, no, I can handle it, I'm good." Tyler felt his heart start racing when Josh had said the words 'parets' and 'tell', so he tried to switch subjects so Josh would quit being worried, Tyler did not deserve someone who worried about him. "Um, when did you get that car?" was the only thing Tyler could get out but realized how obvious it was that he was hiding something and regretted speaking. A worried tone escaped Josh's mouth.  
"Tyler what is it?"  
"No nothing" Tyler was sweating now, he was so scared of Josh discovering how his family was treating him.  
"It's obviosly something Tyler, you're not good at lying." Josh said while putting a hand on Tyler's upper arm. Tyler hissed at the contact and quickly pulled away.  
"Tyler." Josh sounded scared. "Tyler, listen to me!" He nearly screamed now. "Pull off your sweater" Tyler slowly shook his head. "You're clearly hiding something, and if you won't pull of your sweater yourself, I will do it for you." Josh was determined to see now, and he was fearing the worst, but Tyler still shook his head. Josh ttok a steady grip on Tylers sweater and pulled upwards, not that it was hard to get it off, Tyles was so small and the sweather was like always too big for him, but it was certainly not an easy task. After Tyler had put up a small fight trying desperately to get his sweater to remain on his torso, he eventually gave in and let Josh see what a freak he was.  
"Oh my god Tyler, why would you ever do that to yourself?" Josh put his hand to his mouth and just stared. Tyler started sobbing quietly but they eventually grew louder and stronger. Tyler was just waiting for Josh to start yelling at him and kick him out again, so he was suprised when he felt two big arms pull him into a tight hug. It was traumatic for Josh to see all the scars littered all over Tyler's arms, chest and stomack, there were hundreds, maybe thousands of scars, but it also came as a chock to him that Tyler was crying, he had never shown a weaker side to Josh even thought they had known each other for several years. They just sat there. Hugged, for maybe half an hour until Tyler's sobbings became small sniffles. Josh then pulled Tyler into a spooning position on the bed.  
"Don't you hate me now?" Tyler asked between hiccups and Josh could sense the worried face on Tyler.  
"No, of course not, I would never hate you!" Josh answered with a calming voice and pulling Tyler a little bit closer to himself as he said it.  
"How could you not, you saw my scars, how disgusting I am, how ugly I am, how..." Josh cut him off  
"You're not disgusting, ugly or anything bad to me. To me you are the cutest boy I've ever met and I would never leave you. I love you Tyler." Tyler was chocked, he'd never thought such a pretty boy like Josh would like him.  
"I love you too Josh" Tyler said and turned his head so he could see Josh and Josh leaned down and pecked at Tylers small pink lips with his own full ones and smiled. after that they cuddled until they fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo what did you think? It was a little cringy bu I couldn't help myself oops, but I hope you liked it! I will upload soon, atleast in a week but the chapters may be shorter than this one.  
> Feel free to comment your thoughts so I can see you opinions and maybe make the coming chapters even better!  
> xoxo  
> Jen


End file.
